Nine Gallons Of Fruit

Video:

“If you want it, come and get it. For crying out loud. Because the love that He has given you, was never in doubt….Ohhh, I love, I love, I love Your presence”

 

Definition: 

those gracious dispositions and habits which the Spirit produces in those in whom he dwells and works. (dictionary.com)

  

     “Ester Ahn Kim’s biography is among the most powerful testimonies I have ever read. It was during WWII, and the Japanese occupation of Korea, that Ester’s journey of faith really began. She refused to bow down at the shrines set up in every corner of her country and was eventually imprisoned for six years, from 1939 until 1945. 

    Knowing she was destined for prison for refusing to bow to idols, Ester spent time training herself both physically and spiritually. Each day she would find and eat food that was decaying, knowing that was what she would be served in prison. The discipline she demonstrated is humbling; how many of us would choose to eat rotten foods?

    While preparing for prison, she memorized more than one hundred chapters of the Bible and many hymns because she knew she would not be allowed to keep her Bible. She spent countless hours seeking God through fasting and prayer. These times when she read the Scriptures led to greater clarity, and she was able to surrender her fear of being tortured.

     Reading her story left me wanting more. More intimacy with Christ. More love for people. More of God in my life. And to be honest, more discipline. She was a well-disciplined believer but there was nothing self-righteous about her. Her obedience to Christ only increased her ability to hear the voice of the Spirit, and consequently filed her with overwhelming love for people she came in contact with. When she eventually was taken to prison, God used her in countless way. One night a young Chinese woman convicted of killing her husband was brought in. She moaned incessantly and beat on the doors until guards tied her hands behind her back. It was this woman that God called Ester to love and reach out to. Ester held the woman’s feet at night to warm them, even though the woman was covered in her own excrement. Though food rations were small, Ester gave up her portions for three days to this woman.

    Over time, the Chinese woman began to respond, carrying on conversation and eventually accepting the good news of the gospel. The woman was later executed for her crime, but she went to her death alive in Christ.

    This is one of many people God used Ester to minister to, Murderers and swindlers who were utter outcasts were changed before all who watched as the love of Christ, through Ester, healed their hearts and gave them hope. Even the jailers and government officials noticed how Ester shone in that dark place. She could have endured her suffering like a good Christian, and we would have applauded her for it. But she was not content to merely endure. She was ready every day and every moment, asking God, “Who do You want me to love for You today?” 

 (page 97-99; from Forgotten God, by Francis Chan)

I was sitting in the library at school, and tears seeped out onto my cheeks while I read this!! 

I’ve kinda been stressed the past couple of weeks. And I tend to be one of those people “who sweeps it under the rug.” The method of allowing things to be tucked, pinned away, and only works for short-term circumstances. For after a long period of time, the stuff starts to ooze out, and one can no longer shove anything else there…so what happens? The stuff has to be dealt with all at once! Not to worry, I am fine. Only, “dealing with things in the moment” is going to be a process.

After I read Francis Chan’s Crazy Love, a year or so ago, a sneak peak to his next book was offered in the last pages. I knew I had to read that one next. There’s just something about the way he writes, and speaks; something very heart-like. Very real. He tells it like it is. Well, I am just now getting to that book (Forgotten God). My small group started a video series on the book three weeks ago, and along with a few other conformational urges, I picked up the book this past Sunday. And wow. 

What’s funny, is for the past several months, I’ve been looking into Holy Spirit, and His nature in a deeper/different way. Pursuing Him in a new dynamic almost. The beginning of last week, I felt that I lost my “love, joy, peace, and patience.” I asked God for my desire, and compassionate heart back. Ha, it’s almost funny looking back on it now! I am naturally a very caring person, and easily sympathize with others. Whenever I don’t “feel it”, I start to wonder if I’ve lost apart of myself!

What I realize, is almost a lack of reliance and acknowledgement on the Spirit. The one way I’ve come to know this, has been through several times recently when I have had to rely on the Spirit, and not my own feelings. Granted, I am sure in the past I have done just that, but I honestly am not sure if I saw it clearly. One afternoon last week, for instance, I felt that my thoughts were too overwhelming to deal with. I stepped up and interceded for my heart. While doing so, a piece of scripture, I have not read in a while came to me. I declared over myself, “I do not receive crazy, fearful, absurd thoughts! I am of a sound mind.” After praying this, something new came over me, and I instantly searched for the verse! 

II Timothy 1, For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control (AMP). 

He is the greatest counselor. We rely on Him through the Word, and in our confrontations with the world. Francis Chan’s description of Ester Ahn Kim, displays a profound meaning. My heart is so warmed by this: …she memorized more than one hundred chapters of the Bible and many hymns because she knew she would not be allowed to keep her Bible. She spent countless hours seeking God through fasting and prayer. These times when she read the Scriptures led to greater clarity, and she was able to surrender her fear of being tortured.

We have been asked to be here to love, and He who has asked us lives within us. Simply ask Him back. Simply rely on Him. I can tell you, honestly, that I need to engage and focus on the Spirit. Stop fretting about my own agenda. Instead, I really need to come clean and realize that it is God who has my heart FIRST – long before I reflected His heart. I need to stop just getting by and pulling through, but actually being…and the way to do that is allowing Him (coming to Him and GETTING it; going and RECEIVING the Promised Gift) to work on my being – because, He doesn’t work on our flawlessness, but rather our righteousness. 

My desire and prayer is to work toward this concept daily! Instead of grumbling through a task, I want to ask the Spirit. Instead of avoiding a one-on-one moment with a dear person, I want to dig deep into my core and just ask. I want to not only listen to others without distancing myself, but actually take bites of His Fruit.

The presence of the Spirit remains within us. By simply being open to Him we receive such luscious fruits. We have been empowered to partner with such a Companion as He. We are able to stand and be self disciplined enough to meditate in His presence, to refuse foods that will not benefit our future, to choose foods that will benefit our future, to memorize scriptures, and choose not be in a place of fear; we are able to be in a position where our hearts cry out “Who do you want me to love today.”