Glimpses And Expectations

Before the sun comes to the day (to bring forth day-light), it must rise. There are bursts of light, prisms of hues, and beams of glory – a projected image that is breathtaking!

The sun causes so much to occur. Evaporation, for instance. Energy from the sun, draws water from the earth, and into the sky. From there, the water vapors in the sky become clouds. It rains and thus repeats the cycle. A fascinating skill for sure! There are many benefactors to this process as well. Plants need to absorb solar rays, to grow giant and green. Human existence would not exist without the earth being 93 million miles (nasa.gov.) away from the sun. An exact number for a good reason. The sun is so intensely hot! I am no scientific professor, and this is all very basic information, but it is important for me to provide these common sense details for an overall message here.

Other planets are floating around in our solar system, and they do not have any life on them. Okay, maybe you are a theorist in UFOs. But may I just use the fact that our solar system is way bigger than we are! As of today, there are no humanly-known planets that contain life, besides earth.

A day when the sunrises (every day) is a beautiful thing. Night owls and nocturnal beings may never take the chance to admire it, they may just sleep on past it most mornings. Yet, even those early birds, may just see it each day, and it becomes a repetitive event in the motions. Well, surely, anyone is likely to be guilty in the area of not paying attention. Seriously, think if/when you have truly admired a sunrise. It is the most exquisite sight to see! Before our eyes, it may not last longer than an hour but it brings forth this brilliant sunshine! Which, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, it has been proven to have a purpose even greater than tanning and vitamin-D! The glory of the sunrise, gives a preview of the great ball of light that is to come in our day. We go to bed at night, to anticipate that the sun will rise up in the sky with a new day ahead. There is no doubt it will happen.

Just as the sun gives us a sneak peak, before it reveals it's full self, we too are given glimpses of our true glory. And we can expect our glory to come to be. Say, (a much less logical comparison) a child setting milk and cookies out Christmas Eve. Does a child wonder if the milk will spoil when they awake in the morning? Goodness, no! For Santa comes in the night. And he will drink the milk. When the child wakes up, crumbs and an empty glass is left behind. The child is excited – not surprised, expectant.

Expectancy – the knowledge of something that you know will come to past.

God is in every part of our life, even the parts we don't have labels for. Ah, it's so amazing. Moments when “coincidences” occur; when all the pieces “randomly” fall into place. Those particular times are coincidence and random to our practical minds, but only because we do not intend those things to happen. We didn't plan it out. God planned it out. Those moments are not mere chance. They were destined. We have been given freewill, but the Lord takes each and every choice we make and turns it for His glory.

When we are in a season of discovery (such as the one I am in), we build upon and/or find more of our true passions, and desires. Perhaps it's a career that we know, know, know we will go into one day. Or a hobby that we pursue, we may not hold famous talent right away or be “rewarded” in the full sense of accomplishment, but we'll get there at some point. It is those little beams of light that come before the sun hits it's peak at noon. Preview of what is to come. When we receive those moments, it is beautiful. And lovely.

Often times, we want to grasp them right when we see them, but we're not there yet, so we cannot – It is a journey, a long one in our minds, for sure. And that, my friend, is the beauty of it all! The patience and wait. For in the midst of watching the rays of sunlight, our hearts are embraced by the glory. Our minds try to soak up understanding. Yet, it is still good to remember: we are not sitting ducks!

About four weeks ago, I was riding home from school on the bus, dreading the fact: I was on it. Wishing I had my license, so I could steer my own ride home. Steer my whole life in my direction. I said in my thoughts to Daddy-God, “Ugh, I'm so stuck in a process.” Unexpectedly, I received an answer, right then. Haha, come to find out, I haven't been going through a process for nothing! I am not sitting still. That's part of the process. I am being prepared for so much. Prepared for whatever it is HE is guiding me toward. And when one prepares for something, one must practice patience and equip oneself for what is next. It's peculiar how our minds can so often forget the first steps we must go through. Lately, there are times when I feel like I am back tracking. Constantly going back to the basics. Yet, again, that is the process.

I had a growing form of willingness in my heart to dig deeper this past weekend. I singled out a chunk of time to remove myself from distractions and just focus. I had no clue where to strike my shovel first, nor what sediments would be best to start with. Reflecting on it all, I don't even know what it was that I began with. All I know is I am so much more fuller, than when I started.

Our little-lifetime-preparation-moments can occur at anytime. Maybe a weekend, or a moment in the flow of the day. Processing things out, then processing things in again.

Ironically, last week led me up to Easter Sunday. The whole message in my mind has been basic: a Son who sacrificed, so we may walk in freedom. It is the glory of Christianity. A lot of the time the though, the story can become very redundant. And for a long time, I have been chained to an idea; a conclusion that I was expected to be totally sinless as a Christian. I had to do more good than bad; if I could just focus my thoughts on good things, then my bad thoughts wouldn't be revealed.

Yet, somehow, I've always known the Truth. The goal here is to expect in a new way, not be chained to any expectancy of the old covenant. The key fact and what has been my desire for this blog to be about is....WALKING IT OUT. I really need to stop trying to repay all the gifts and blessings I have been given. I also must end striving to earn some credit for the future, so my heart's desires “might” be satisfied. I am not perfect right now, as long as I am in my human flesh, I never will be. Yet, grace is the deal that seals it all!

Something that used to seem like a tall-tale, now seems like reality. It's the Glory Place. Both here on the earth, and in heaven. I know I will one day be made fully perfect. But, for now, it is good to know, He is taking my burdens away when I lay them out it His hands EACH day. Through Christ I am accepted, and given a new heart.

The core of my foundation should not be my attempts to be perfect, creative and talented. Rather, I ought to be grounded in the story of the good news shared through the Gospel. Christ went through every pain the world has felt – FOR us. He was captured, tortured, and crucified . I can't even put it all into detail, because only He knows how it all went down. Humans put the Son of God on a cross. I mean, there are horrible things that humans done to other people, but this is the Messiah! The King of Kings, allowed His own creation to beat Him, to His death. Why? Why would He go through all that? One of Jesus' accusers even said, “come down from the cross, and save yourself.” If He is the King, why doesn't He just avoid the cross all together? Why didn't He demand to be respected?

Questions are mind boggling for sure! It's so backwards and upside-down, but that is the Kingdom!

Jesus was also resurrected. He arose again! God went through the pain for this whole event! He LOVES us passionately!!! Jesus Christ took the place of the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. When He revealed Himself before His people again, He told everyone to make it known to all the world that it is through Him, we receive the gift of grace. Therefore, we do not, in ANY way, earn it! And I'm not so sure a lot of people actually grasp that. I know, most of the time, I don't.

My expectations must be found settling on His unfailing character, not my own imperfections. The part that has been missing from my view, is the FACT that I am not clean and justified by my works alone, but by HIS and only His doings! It sounds so redundant in the Christian walk, but when I/we stop and absorb what this means, it becomes a powerfully firm rock for faith!

To tie everything to a conclusion, I will make known that my prayers held a lot of questions last week. I was a little worrisome too, that maybe I wasn't being a “good Christian” for doubting God. I fear sometimes that one day I will just deny Him and walk away all together. But I know that everything I debate or ask of Him, I am simply questioning my faith. The result has been priceless! It has always been so beyond any value. I think now though, I am truly embracing it all. Each and every day, I learn that we can never truly be fulfilled until we begin to accept the fashioning of our hearts in the now for the day we enter into the glorious bridal celebration with our Beloved.

I found the following passage to be rather eye catching, a beam of light so to speak, to hold onto in our preparation. I'm looking with much anticipation to His final glory....

Revelation 21:2

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

….talk about expectation!

Intention and Purpose

I have gone over my set notes on a message about destiny. I recall one phrase that was quoted from the book by C.S Lewis, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. The moment the speaker said the quote I knew exactly what the context was. However, I haven't read that book in six years! It's funny how things don't really leave our minds. Well, I made a note a few weeks ago, to look back, find that quote and read it again. I scribbled it down fast. Most of the time I do not actually do the things I “remind” myself to do. Yet, for some reason, curiosity got the best of me. I succeeded in looking back through a few chapters. I have copied over a few extra passages along with it. You do not need to have even heard of this story, it's easy to follow:

Chapter 7: A Day with the Beavers – pg 141 (Mr Beaver spoke the name “Aslan”)

“And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it has some enormous meaning – either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.”

Chapter 8: What Happened After Dinner – pg 146

(Mr. Beaver):“ '....He'll settle the White Queen all right. It is he, not you, who will save Mr Tumnus.'

'She won't turn him into stone too?' said Edmund.

'Lord love you, Son of Adam, what a simple thing to say!' answered Mr Beaver with a great laugh. 'Turn him into stone? If she can stand on her two feet and look him in the face it'll be the most she can do and more than I expect of her....'”

(Then the children refer to Aslan as a man)

'...Aslan a man!' said Mr. Beaver sternly. 'Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion – the Lion, the great Lion.'

'Ooh!' said Susan. 'I'd thought he was a man. Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.'

'That you will, dearie, and make no mistake,' said Mrs Beaver; 'if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly.'

'Then he isn't safe?' said Lucy.

'Safe?' said Mr Beaver; 'don't you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.'”

I do not wish to take away from the glory of Mr Beaver's words in that last line, but another word   is spoken, that is just as powerful, and I am afraid that if I don't point this out directly, it would be read over, passed by. So, please read this last quote as meaningful truth to note upon:

“'I'm longing to see him,' said Peter, 'even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point.'”.....

Here is my first little bit! Peter desires to look upon the face of a lion; “The Mighty Lion.” He longs. He wishes to pursue Him, to know of this great King whose name is intriguing. Although he admits that he holds a respected fear in the grand seem of things, but he LONGS to see him.

On the aspect of pursuing, God is full of it....in a really good way!!

In February, I discovered a concept that I realize has ALWAYS been in my life, since the beginning. It's this consistent-repeating-persistence. When I discovered that things have always been pointing to God, it awed me. I wanted to drag that thought out deeper. Around March, a book was recommended to me. I wrote it down and picked it up in the bookstore at church. Ha, and here's the funny part, when I was looking on the shelves for it, I found “Organic God” - another book by the same author – another book that I had looked at a year ago and almost bought....It's just funny because I think it is, I guess.

The book that I intended to find, (the book HE intended me to find) I found. It's titled “the Sacred Echo – hearing God's voice in Every Area of Your Life” by Margaret Feinberg. The title is eye catching alone! Ahhh such a great book (if you know me, and are intrigued, let me know, you can totally borrow it!)

I went on a planned trip to Florida a few days later, and figured why not read “Sacred Echo” on the plane ride! I love reading, but I always seem to struggle with setting “important” things off to the side. With about three and a half hours in the sky, I certainly had no other thing to do, but read. Ah, what a read it was! So inspiring, and amazing. I began to see even more repeated messages. And I will probably quote it often, but I'll save those for other points in other moments. For now, I'll stay on task...

Now, those two chapters above were quoted with a great intention. For those who I've left out of the story, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is the second book in a fantasy series, The Chronicles of Narnia. Also, it would be important for you to know that Mr and Mrs Beaver are actually beavers. So, to remain on the topic of animals I'll share a recent animal story. We have this family dog, named Carrie. She is a sweet dog, a brittney-spaniel mix, and is about twelve years old. She is so gentle, and loyal, but we all jokingly call her “strange dog”. For she'll go up to anyone at anytime, sitting or standing, and put one front paw on one's leg. She desires attention for sure!

Then, there's this other thing she does. It drives me insane. I avoid her a lot because of it. Yet this thing she does, is hard to avoid! Carrie is constantly either right under my feet, or is right in the path of where my feet want to go. It never fails. When I bump into her, and she doesn't move, she just looks up with those melt my heart brown eyes. Then I tell her to go away, I turn and she's in the spot where I want to go again.

I told my mom last night, “Ugh! She does this intentionally!!!”. It's so irritating. And it's not just a once in awhile type of thing, it's supernaturally every moment of the day. I am not exaggerating in the slightest. After I said those words of frustration to my mom, I went into my thoughts. I actually prayed about it! I said to God that surely this is not coincidence. I then asked him, “Do you want to show me something here?”

Hahahaha! O boy! I feel God replied with, “You bet I do! I thought you'd never ask! Don't you know this is my heart!!! Persistently at your feet. I am so close to you, you don't always see me! You don't always pay attention to me. I am always loyally by your side. I am persistent. Even when you are not. I am here even when your mind is not. I am not going away Lilly. I am pursuing you. Come on! COME and pursue me more, and more, and more, and more!!” Ahh. What a way to be taught. I say, God can do anything He wants. Shape and mold our lives in ways beyond our dreams. Though sometimes in ways that are in our dreams!

Our mind is an interesting organ, and God created it with great purpose! There's something about the description C.S Lewis wrote about how the four children (Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy) felt when the name of Alsan was spoken, that has always stirred me. I haven't read that book in a long time, but there's just something deep in my heart that knows knows knows that it ties in with the Lord. I can so relate to each feeling, “sensation of mysterious horror; brave and adventurous; as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by; when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.”

When I think of the name Jesus. My heart thumps faster, my mind is more a peace. When I say “Daddy God”, I feel my Father's arms literally embrace me. Even the slightest thought of Him, causes me to shake, and be in total wholeness with Him. I feel that the description in that one bitty paragraph is the way it is intended for us to feel about such a great King! When I read the Bible, and keep in mind of what Christ has restored to my life, in the same way!

Alright, there are many bits and pieces, but stay with me, I have a bit more to connect!

Now, referring and connecting back to chapter 8 and page 147, the point made of how Aslan would “settle the White Queen all right”. Christ has already restored for us the separation between us an our Heavenly Father; He has already won! One day He will stomp His heel on the enemy and settle it all! What a promise! No more suffering, nor shame!

Haha, Edmund questions if the queen could turn Aslan into stone! It amazes me the response he receives “..If she can stand on her two feet and look him in the face it'll be the most she can do and more than I expect of her.” I mean wow and holy cow this is awesome. The enemy is so small compared to our Great God! He can't stand up straight before our God and look Him in the eye! Yes it is important to stand firm and fight with the sword of truth. But the odds are actually in our favor! He has already won us over!

What really brings a chuckle to me now, is the fact that Alsan is not a man. Our Lord is no man, He is an eternal and supernatural being. A god, in fact the God. The Great Lion! In Revelation 5:5 it states “Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed.” I mean how awesome is that!? And I am not one who is totally comfortable with the book of Revelation, it's beyond my understanding, beyond the box I put myself in. I am working on it though, for sure! Which brings me to my next point:

“Safe?” said Mr Beaver; “don't you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”

This is the very quote I heard, the one I mentioned that started me on this whole idea. Obviously I've expanded it, just a tad. But let me just say the very intention of what this means! I ask you: is stepping out into a relationship with God, who can totally wreck the world, safe? Heck no! But God is good. He is SO good. He is the King! HIS ways are far greater and superior than ours. He will not give us anything He knows we cannot handle. Everything points to Him. He pursues us like no other. The glory is a risk, but it is good.

                                                                                                              He has intention, and purpose.

discovering grace in Special Places

 One night last week, we had pancakes for dinner. Determined and confident in my cooking skills, I set off to make them alone. Hey, it's pancakes right? What could be so difficult about making them? Well, let me just say that once I poured the batter on the pan, I gave up and walked away. Now, don't think me a nut - before I stormed off to my “I cannot do this!” mode, I left it all to my very gracious mother. She saved the day for sure. In the end the cakes were tasteful. However in the moment, I got all teary-eyed. Then I asked myself, why? Why had I become all worked up over something so minuscule? I thought about the many recent moments when I have just given up. For instance, practicing driving in reverse, doing something different with my hair, working on SAT prep, finishing my algebra II homework and etc.

Often times, I think we all hold patience and grace for others, yet none for ourselves. Maybe my thoughts are not statistically correct, but it is a tenancy for a lot of people.

I've been reading in Genesis. Most recently in chapters 25:19-34; 32-33

(http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2025,27-33&version=NIV).  

In about seven and a half chapters it describes three very define things.

 

Ironically, the first was actually addressed last week at a small group. In the chapters it tells about Jacob and Esau. They are brothers, sons of Isaac. Jacob makes this yummy soup. Esau has been working, most likely, all day, and very hungry. He asks Jacob for some food, or else he will surely starve. Jacob will not give his brother soup unless Esau trades him something in return. So, Esau gives up his birth right for some soup (25:9-34).

The moral, basically, is that it is so important for us to not throw away our destiny, what God ultimately has in store for us. For story telling sake, Jacob later receives Isaac's blessing that was intended for Esau. That's crazy, and deceptive! Esau lost his birthright, and the true blessing from his father!! He must have been angry, considering the time period! Well, I'll let you read the Word to know it fully...

The second important event that follows, is when Jacob goes to find a wife. He travels to his father's homeland. Prior to his arrival, Jacob goes through a journey (28:10-22). He has a dream in Bethel. Later, in verse 16 Jacob thinks to himself: “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” How awesome is that?? I mean, wow. Even in our ungraceful moments, God works through them.

Maybe we have a day, a week, or even a few months, where we are not walking as He intended us to walk out our lives. He is still working in us and around us. Jacob calls that particular place“Bethel; house of God”. Doesn't that just pump you up? To just know that we are allowed to continually go back to Him, even in a conflicted state. And also, it kinda gives confirmation, that the little things in life are SO important to work in.

Jacob would never have found his wife, if he didn't first put one foot in front of the other. In the same way, it is also true for us. Except, in our story and in our walk today, it's about God's house being inside of us. God chose to get even closer than skin covering our organs!

Thirdly, after getting married and having children, Jacob and his family go through different trials. Many situations occur along the years. At one point, Jacob finally returns home, travels to see his brother. Jacob does so very humbly. It truly inspires my heart, how humble we should be in everything we do. He states repeatedly “If your eyes find favor in me” “Your servant sends many gifts before him.” and “If you find favor in your servant...”. One thing that has just tied me up, is trying to justify myself. I always say things that are like: “Oh well.....BUT...” I am always using the terms but, yet, however, although, etc. As if to cover up something. It's silly, but it's so true! Ha, I just did it. Jacob makes a statement to his brother, that if only Esau could forgive him, and accept the many gifts. At first, it made a knot in my stomach. I so often feel unworthy of grace. I feel I must earn it, a lot of the time.

But WAIT, it's important to remember, the story takes place in the Old Testament. Jesus has not come in Genesis, just yet. The people therefore had to give an offering to earn forgiveness. In addition, Esau didn't demand anything from his brother. He refused to accept anything from Jacob, until the persistence prevailed. Maybe God doesn't demand anything from us, but He'll take whatever we offer Him. I don't think it matters to HIM though, how much we plead with Him. He accepts us. Yeah, it is important to sacrifice our lives for Him; to have more of Him and less of us, but that doesn't mean we are invisible! God uses us in many, many ways. We could never ever make it up to Him. We are human. We are merely human. He is beyond even our best humble speech. The most “holiest” of a man could never even come close to fulfilling God. He cannot be fulfilled by us!! He is already full and complete without us. But He so longs for us to be with Him!

I recently have returned from a women's retreat (there's so much more, I will go into on a later day), and many women spoke to my heart deeply in this way. One beautiful woman said to me, “God trusts you with this...”. I honestly was taken back, realized, I had to deal with what I was hearing!! The Almighty God trusts me?? Me!? An adolescent who holds so many, many imperfections! A woman who has dozens of emotional roller-coasters daily is trusted by God?

Another word, “You are loved by the Lord who is your Husband. One who can touch you in places and ways, NO other man could!” That is so true. When I first heard it said, I felt it was an interesting, intimate way of interpreting our relationship with God. The truth is though, IT IS THE TRUTH! He is so intimate. It's crazy to think that way, but it's crazy not to think that way! Our God is perfect. He is the image of a firm marriage. Persisting commitment....for ETERNITY!

Okay, back to Genesis....Jacob was humble going forth to see his brother. Now, I know I haven't written a book here, but remember Esau? The guy I just told you about? (you should totally p-a-u-s-e reading this blog, and read it in the Bible, if you haven't already!) Esau gave up his birthright to Jacob. Then, on top of that, Jacob dressed up in the place of Esau. Basically, the guy who stole Esau's blessings was coming back to see him. Crazy! Think of a modern day situation. You have even a disagreement with a family member, then leave. Would you want to return and mend things? I can honestly say, I'm not so sure if I would! I would feel so un-welcomed, and discouraged to go back to a situation that may have been left broken. I would have hesitation.

Jacob was humble. Bowed to the ground seven times as he walked to Esau. Totally read this in the word if you haven't. In the past week, I've read it out, repeatedly, and was like whoa. It touched me so much. Chapter 33:4 “But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept....”

WOW. Talk about grace! Esau was even persistent with Jacob. Esau told his dear brother that he would accompany him, and bless his family.

Alright, how awesome is this! Esau ran to embrace his brother even after all that occurred. How gracious was he? Very gracious! I imagine, this is how Jesus responds to us every time we have “off-moments”. He runs to embrace us! To kiss us! To say that we are His Brother/Sister! To say that He adores us. Our Co-heir is in love with us! Our Kingdom's Prince says that we are SO worthy for a destiny! It has nothing to do with what gifts we give, or how persistent we are in trying to justify ourselves. He says that we are worth the bloodshed on the cross. The Lord desires so much for us to be in a relationship with Him, that He would come down to be with us. He fulfills and perfects our faith.

To simply conclude it all, I feel that the three parts in Genesis that my heart has been focused in, have a lot to do with our journey with God..... 

1.) We have a birthright, to the Kingdom. A blessing anointed upon us to walk out our destiny; a purpose which is NOT something to be given up or traded for anything!

2.) We have special seasons to explore Him; we hold special places. We are all the temple of God.

3.) We are given grace over, over, over, again, and again. And He is excited about us returning to Him.

As I wrote in the second post, I have had somewhat of and idea for a topic to share. The focus remains the same, however I admit, it's taken me longer than I originally thought. Some second guessing occurred, and I felt unsure of what to type. From the moment I posted the last entry I felt I had to start right off and go for whatever was on my mind to share. Yet, the more I shoveled deep into my thoughts, the more I became scattered and full of different purposes for a third update. Perhaps I was dwelling far too much in discouragement. It's silly I know, but when I thought about the whole idea, something was lacking. Hopefully, I have collected all of the missing pieces.....